Just Try Harder

I love this quote by Victoria Castle:

If struggling were the way to get there, we’d all be there by now.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the way many of us approach work.  Often, suffering and struggling is so much a part of the everyday experience that it goes unnoticed and unchallenged.  We can automatically and unconsciously believe the lies that say if we just try harder, work longer, suffer enough,….then it HAS to pay off….doesn’t it?  We like to call it “work ethic”.  Seems more like “carrot and stick”.

[Years ago I had a coach who suggested I take a baseball cap, cut a hole in the bill, loop Read more »

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A Secret to Everyday Happiness

Each morning before looking at email, calendars, or to-do lists, give yourself some quiet time to consciously create your day.  Decide how you would like for your day to go.  Decide how you would like to feel throughout the day, and what qualities you intend to bring to your day (a sense of humor, an attitude of gratitude, compassion for yourself and others, etc.).  Imagine yourself moving through your day, cheerfully encountering people, resolving problems with ease, making a difference or rising to a challenge — whatever would be fun and meaningful to you.  Close your planning session with a phrase such as, “This or something better, with harm to no one.”  Then, go about your day.  This process takes as little as 10 minutes and will positively impact your life.

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Choose a Theme

As one year closes and a new one opens, it’s a prime time to choose a point of focus for the coming year.  We encourage all of our coaching clients and GROWE members to select a theme and then visit it regularly throughout the year.   A theme is a big picture topic to explore, learn about, and master.  Here are some themes people have chosen in previous years:

The Year of……..

• loving myself
• full permission
• no bull!
• wild success
• luxury
• self-care
• accepting what is
• living my truth
• freedom

We recommend that you not use a tangible goal as a theme.  For example, please don’t limit yourself to something like “The Year of a 7-figure Income”.  Have that has a goal if you like, but not as a theme.  Choose something from your heart.  Something that will really serve your growth holistically.  Then work with a coach to keep it alive and real.  If you don’t have a coach…hire one!  And, if you don’t want to hire a coach, we recommend that you and a good friend each choose a theme and tell one another what your theme is.  That way, you can remind each other throughout the year.  When faced with a challenge, you can ask how the theme relates to or could help with the challenge.  The same can be true when making a decision or when celebrating a success.  (example,“This is your year of luxury, so how does that inform your decision?”)  If you’ve never chosen a theme before, you’ll be amazed at the power of this tool!

My theme for 2010 is: The Year of Conscious Choice.  What’s yours?

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This is another profound and powerful exercise.  It starts with envisioning what you really want during the holidays.  Here are the steps:

1.  Fill in the blank for the following statements:

• This holiday season, I want to feel _____ more consistently.
• I want my overall holiday experience to be _______.
• I will know this holiday season is successful when I ________.

2.  Next, answer this question:  In order to have the above statements come true, what will you need to say NO to and what will you need to say YES to?

3.  Make the commitment to yourself to really say these NO’s and YES’s.  Get support from an accountability buddy or a coach to help you stick to it.

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We’re doing our part to curb stress and boost enjoyment during the holidays.  In the next couple of weeks, we’ll be posting some of our favorites stress-busting tips.  Here’s the first one.

Inner Peace Anytime

This is a simple and powerful exercise to do regularly (daily).  It only takes 5 minutes.

• Set an alarm to go off a few times each day when you will not be in meetings or otherwise engaged with people.

• When the alarm goes off, stop what you are doing.  Set everything down.

• Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
  

• Consciously let go of tension in your body, the stress you have accumulated during the day so far, and any anxieties you have about the future.
  

• Just breathe and come into the present moment.
  

• Decide how you would like the remainder of your day to go — smoothly, peacefully, magically, joyfully — whatever would be most enjoyable to you.
  

• Gently open your eyes feeling refreshed and renewed.

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My friend and colleague Keri Lehmann offers a 6th idea killer!

6.  Dismiss the Idea Right Away Because You Think It Won’t Make Any Money.

How many times has an idea, still in its infancy, been abandoned because “the voice of REASON” asks: but how will this make money?  Some of the most inspired and successful businesses and/or products began just because the inventor had a passion.  I have a friend whose daughter studied art history and who is now a sought-after movie set designer.  I think about Steve Jobs creating a micro computer in his garage or the recent movie: Julie and Julia, where her Julie’s desire to cook every recipe in Julia’s book lead her to create a blog that lead to a book that lead to a movie.  My own husband is a math teacher and decided to write a textbook for his own use, since he wasn’t finding exactly what he wanted.  Fast forward 10 years, now has three published textbooks.  Had any of these people dwelled on the money question, their ideas would surely have been abandoned and we all would miss out on their contributions.

A spiritual teacher recommends: Work passionately, receive passionately.  Part of what this means to me includes following ideas that you are passionate about and trusting that the money will come however it comes.

Thanks Keri!  For more about Keri and her work, visit her site, Coaching Masters.

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I was working with a client this morning when we started laughing about an unfortunate and humbling experience: Killing a Great Idea. Here are my top tips (from personal experience, unfortunately, and from my clients’):

1. Demand It Be Successful Immediately. Think of your idea as a newborn baby.  Sweet, precious, and needing nurturing.  It takes time to mature.  You wouldn’t expect your newborn to be able to run in a track meet next week!  Instead, give your idea the time and space it needs to develop strength and momentum.

2. Ignore your Intuition, the Whispers, & Signs from the Universe. This can range from living in la la land to being in denial to outright refusing to accept what is so.  The whispers, signs from the universe and our intuition are always offering helpful, loving guidance.  There’s that saying: “Listen to the whispers so you don’t have to hear the shouts!”

3. Ask for Feedback without Discernment. Sometimes we ask for feedback too soon or from people who are too critical or too indulgent.  The timing of feedback is one part of discernment; the source and quality of feedback is another.  Consider the metaphor of baking bread:  If you take it out of the oven too soon and hand someone a knife, they’ll cut into it and it will fall. Ruined.  OK, maybe that’s dramatic, but you get the point.

4. Attempt to Control Every Aspect of Development. I recently had a project that at first was a delightful idea.  Unfortunately, I went into my control mode.  It was as if I put my hands around its neck and strangled the life out of it.  Not pretty.  Not successful.  I didn’t allow for the mystery, for the unknown, and for the magic to happen.

5.  Starve It for Attention. We need to make sure we can give enough attention for the idea to take hold.  If we have too many other things going on (too many other projects or life activities), we simply won’t be able to give what is needed and the idea will wilt and die.

So, there are my top five sure-fire ways to kill a great idea.  Got any to add?

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Today, a dear friend sent me this article.  (Thanks Susan!)  If this isn’t a shining sign of the times, I don’t know what is.

Sarkozy Wants Happiness Used as Economic Indicator

By EMMA VANDORE, AP Business Writer PARIS – France plans to include happiness and well-being in its measurements of economic progress, French President Nicolas Sarkozy said Monday, beckoning other countries to join in a “revolution” in the way growth is tracked after the global economic crisis.

“The crisis doesn’t only make us free to imagine other models, another future, another world. It obliges us to do so.”

France will adapt its statistical toolbox as recommended by two Nobel economists Read more »

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I’ve been thinking about “permission” lately.  Many of us won’t grant ourselves permission to freely do, have, or be what we really want in life.  I’m talking about in big and small ways alike.  Big as in working in a career that is less than ideal or suffering in a relationship that isn’t loving or satisfying.  Small as in filling the calendar with duties and obligations that we convince ourselves absolutely MUST be done.  Or, having a to-do list that is not only impossibly long, but also just downright dreadful.

This is no way to live a fulfilling life.  This is no way to have a fun, successful business.

Now, I am happy that I have work that I love and a family life that is tremendously gratifying.  And yet there are certain circumstances in which I do not fully let myself have, do, be all that I desire.  So, I’m challenging myself to a bold experiment:  For the next 7 days, I am only doing what I really want to do — following my heart’s desire.  I trust my heart to guide me to what is most real, most satisfying, most loving.  (My ego likes to threaten me with images of my ultimate destruction: lazing on the couch for hours on end, remote control in one hand, junk food in the other.  Seriously, not my heart’s desire.)

Imagine….day after day of listening to your heart, to your inner guidance and then following its lead.  Well, I’m going for it!

And, no blackmailing myself with SHOULDs, HAVE TOs, or WHO DO YOU THINK YOU AREs! No justifying, asking for approval, or permission from anyone outside of myself.  No apologizing for doing what brings me joy.   I’m talking about giving myself the real freedom to choose moment to moment.  And, if/when I judge myself for being frivolous, indulgent, etc., I promise to lovingly bring myself back to center.

Anybody want to join me?

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Want to improve your business?  Listen.

Listen to yourself.  Really listen.  Slow down.  Get quiet (it may take a while for the inner chatter to subside).  There is so much inner guidance and wisdom available to each of us.  We have access to it whenever we listen for it.

You might want to pose questions about your business, about its direction, about opportunities, or about any aspect of your life.  Then listen.

Consider taking this on as a daily practice and see what happens.  I’m going to!

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